Changing emotions

Excited to not so excited. Smiling to frowning. I just can’t seem to know what I should feel.

I thought I’ll be a having a one week vacation in Negros with some friends. But I received a text that it will not be one week anymore. I’m kind of not so into the news, there is a part of me that says, sayang…at the same time there is also a part of me that says, it’s good. Let me weigh each those thoughts that my mind has been saying.

 NOT SO GOOD?

• If i  go to Negros for 1 week, I’m just wondering, for the whole week me and my sister will be there, what shall we do? I have plans on bringing my camera with me so that I can take pictures, but aside from that? What?
• This is the time that my friends’ family will be spending with them, and me and my sister  being there would just somewhat ruin the day, or their moments together.

• I am pretty sure that we’ll be an additional to their expenses.
• I’m leaving my mother alone at home, that would kinda  be lonely for her, because my father will be going to his hometown in Samar.
• I will be using my vacation leave for 5 days, and I think that is not so good, I should be spending it with my family instead, and the fact that the Samar thing has been planned first, I backed out and decided to go to Negros instead.

GOOD

• I will be able to have a vacation for 1 week, 1 week out from work, from stress, from anger? hehehe
• I will have the opportunity to travel outside Cebu with my sister and richie alone,  but it’s not important though

Haha..tawa nalang ko sa akong self. Obviously, the bulleted items are clear, and would explain, i think so. ^_^

Plans have been changed and I know there are reasons behind why everything happens. ^_^

It didn’t matter to me at all, if it has been changed, what matters is I have opened my mind to what might be the reality. ^_^ I’m don’t have hurt feelings..hehe..really? awh yeah really..hehe..maybe..ahmm..after writing and weighing all those items above. ^_^

Have a nice day ahead! coz me, I will have a nice day! ^_^

What is up?

Hmm…

I find it quite funny because I set my alarm clock at 4am, giving me time to do some exercise, but it turned out, I let is snoozed once and turned it off, and went back to bed. hahaha. I woke up at 5.20am, and just had some stretching and had some set ups, just a little bit. I might be having a backache if I’d do several setups.

Went off to work, the useual ride with my big brother’s motorcycle and whew, just got in time, maybe even earlier than expected. ^_^. We’ll be going to have a badminton session after work, and not really excited, I’m just happy, I’d be able to let those toxics out of my body.

I’m supposed to be doing some serious work right now, but I kinda break my own rule on it’s second day of implementation, hehe.. i just can’t resist it. I want to write something today. ^_^. I just made a room reservation for my friend Ate An-An, as she and her husband will be coming soon on August 5 from Germany. Quite an excitement though, coz i just felt like I’m their tourist guide..haha..feeler jud! Well just nothing except that I’d get to see them again after Augsburg business trip. It’s my pleasure doing their favors, it’s my turn to do so, I guess. And helping them is a great experience. It only does not let me experience calling some hotels, it also let me develop my confidence in telephone conversation…isn’t it nice? hehe..

Anyways, so much for that. We will be having our team weekly meeting in a minute. And I should be doing some serious work nga pala.. heheh..bye for now!

Enjoy the rest of the day!

Xoxo

It will all depend on you

I woke up this morning feeling excited on the thing which I could not explain. Maybe I will have a dinner with my good friend Rose? or maybe because today will be the last day of our 7 habits training. That I really don’t know. ^_^

I got to the office just in time, and I don’t know what the heck had happened that I ended with the feelings of anger, feelings of something which I really could not explain. Perhaps, I feel like an outcast.

It seems like nobody wants me for this day. Good thing though that I’ve got a friend or two who listens to what I say, and want to express. This is not a good week I know. And yeah, maybe it’s what I felt because it feels like I really don’t belong, just for this week…and the other side is that I get to know what I really should know and do. I guess mura kog mantika nga natulog, and this is the time that I should be doing something. 

I remember, on my way to work, it came across my mind a thought, a question, what have I been doing lately? and am I really learning? or everything just passed by.  I’m working but I’m not learning, I’m working but I don’t see what I have been working so hard, I’m working but I am not happy. I’m working but the very deep thought of it, I don’t know what I’m working for. I keep on dreaming, but I did not do anything to make that dream come true.

Hey, I guess it’s not yet too late. I will be doing something, and I guess this is the right thing to do.

@ im status: Stop it before it becomes a habit. And I’m referring to uttering such bad word, just to express the anger that I’ve been through, and yes deep inside, I know it’s not the right thing. And I’m going to stop it right now.

And for what is going on right now in my life, I am going to do something to make it right, and lead it to the right direction.

1. I will try to really extend my patience. Forget the wrongs that Richie had done to me and start anew with him. I may not be able to forget the wrongs that a person “B” had done to me, but I will ignore her, the best I can so that I will not feel anger that could sometime ruin my day. I am not going to hurt myself just for her…it’s past and I don’t want to recall it. It’s a bad experience, and it would remain in there, and I will not take it to where I’m going. I know it’s hard to forget it, coz everyday I get to see her face, but it will fade away, I know.
2. I will do things on my own. Not depending on others.
3. I will not be a lazy person from this day on. I will work on things that I really should have done before.
4. A new me will come out next week.

These are all just a little of what I can do, to make this life a meaningful one, a life that I can say, I have done something to fulfill the purpose of living.

Randomness Feelings

I’m having mixed emotions right now. I feel satisfied, quite happy coz i’ve finally able to finish my task; then suddenly i’m bored with nothing to do but just read. 2 hours from now, i’ll be attending a 7 habits of highly effective people seminar, a learning session, and hmmm well honestly, I was hoping this will end now, but unfortunately I still have to attend on this until tomorrow.

My friend Rose and I are planning to have dinner tomorrow. Just the two of us. We have three options and I haven’t choose one yet, nor she. Honestly, I only got 500 pesos in my pocket, and maybe I would just try to budget it for our date tomorrow. hehe.. I guess that would be okay, as we seldom see each other, and maybe through it we can exchange “kumustas”.

I’m now taskless, and I may say, I’m just killing the time, and this thing sucks. I hate killing time with nothing good to do and here I am writing this post.

Anyways, I’m just writing random feelings here, maybe through this I will be able to find out what I really need to do. As the quote goes.

If you only know what you know you can do, you never do very much. - Tom Krause

And it kept me wondering, did I really know what I can do? Let me browse through the archives in my mind.. hehe.. I know of some things that I can do. 

I can…

- i can do art

- i can do photography

- i can code/ programming codes (java specifically)

- i can think of something out of nothing.. hehe..perhaps?

- i can love a person that loves me also..hehe..

- i can do everything for my family.

…and then what?

what are those that I know of, and did I do very much from them?

… think …

actually, can’t think of something that I did do that much, not that I have known of. ^_^ 

or maybe, i really didn’t know that I can do. Bad!  

I guess I need someone who can explain that quote for me. Can someone explain it for me?

Long time no…

Eyh, I forgot about this space, until one friend gave me a link and i visited it, and saw i.ph in the ad part. I tried to remember what my link was, and luckily, I did remember, but unfortunately, I forgot my password. Oh, well lucky then for me that I did not forget the security question’s answer. ^_^. I’m just lucky..hehe..sayang pud ni nga site…this is really great, and whew, i have made quite a lot of posts here. ^_^

Hmm…a lot of things happened after my last posts. And I don’t think I can make this one in one post, but I’ll try. ^_^

Good things, bad things, all of them happened to me. Let me try to start from the very beginning (awh asa diay magstart jud? hehe) , as far as I can remember. ^_^ 

After my trip in Augsburg, and after all the drama that I’ve been through there and here, till I got home, I finally got to have my sweet revenge? ahmm… was it really revenge? I think not! and I did not do it alone. I have some people who helped me do things that could let’s just say, make myself do my thing for those people who made me feel terrible? ahmm..i guess not the right word, basta mao nana xa..i just can’t seem to find the right word. Well anyways, I won’t have to take my time on them, coz I guess I’m through with them with regards to that.

Next, is that I now have my new dslr, my dream cam. And I so love taking pictures with it, sometimes though I find myself lazy. But I may say, i’m doing great. And I also would like to thank a good friend, who made all these possible. Thanks for the favor Leen and thanks for giving me with so much trust. 

Then,  the rest is history. hehe.. Actually I don’t think I can recall all of them, as far as I do have a long term memory, but I don’t want to remember some of those.  

Anyways, i’m glad I’m back! I’ll be posting more soon!